So, it's been a month of no blogging. Sorry! I've been very busy getting settled in our new place. We got a FABULOUS deal, a four bedroom house for $650 a month! It's only through April, and then we renegotiate (or move?), but until then, we're making the most of it.
So, we recently decided we weren't going to take any more help from the government, so we're trying to save money, especially in the food area. Oh, but we do love those artisan breads! So I decided to go crazy and make my own sourdough starter, and then bread. It sure was torture waiting those first couple weeks for the starter to get started! And the first couple of loaves weren't very sour, but it's gotten better and better as we go, so YAY!!!
Several of you, my readers, have asked me for tips, tricks and a recipe! Well, I just used this one from Better Homes and Gardens, which I actually got from the recipe book that my mother-in-love gave me for my first birthday married to Matt. (Thanks, KathieMom!) I don't think I've ever had to change anything, except to vary how much flour I use, which changes according to the weather.
I have learned a few things, though, both from experience and research. One thing that may throw a lot of people off is that sourdough tastes different based on where you live. No matter how hard you try, even if you bought starter from San Francisco, you cannot make San Francisco sourdough unless you live in San Francisco. Sorry. Sourdough gets sour from the various bacteria and things in the air, and the air is different in San Francisco than it is in Rexburg, Michigan, Arizona, or Alaska. So you must first accept this fact.
Also, it takes a while for things to ferment. You don't need to age your starter for a year (like most wines) or longer to get it good and sour, but it does take longer than a few weeks. My starter actually smells stronger now than it did when I made my first loaf.
Last, I've learned that I need to double my starter, because my family likes this bread, and it is usually gone within a couple of days, and the first loaf is gone the first day. So in order to make it more often, I added more replenishing stuff to my starter last time. I think I may need a bigger container.
My next adventure will be based on the book: Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day, by Jeff Hertzberg and Zoe Francois. I've only read a little, but what I've read is very exciting, and may very well revolutionize my baking life! So stay tuned for the next episode of... Adventures in Baking!!!!
The Martin Multitude The more, the merrier!
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Together again
Well, it's been almost 5 months since I've seen my husband face to face. This is the first separation of any notable length since we were married, 7.5 years ago. It was a much different experience than I expected.
I can't speak for Matt, but I anticipate that being together again, working as a true team will be a bit of an adjustment. Matt's been "single" all this time, able to go and do things with any of his friends at any time convenient to him (and let me tell you, that won't work with me). And I have been the boss of my family, and made many significant changes in our daily life that didn't always make it in to our usually brief conversations. I think the only people who might not have a problem getting used to it are the kids!
I am confident, however, that we will be able to adjust, tweak, compromise and change ourselves to be one again. It gives me comfort that our vows were not taken on a whim, for fun or without commitment. When you'll be with someone for eternity, you tend to work a little harder at working things out!
So I'll see him Saturday (I hope) or Sunday morning (for sure). We'll go to church, come back to my parents' house to eat dinner, pile everyone in the van and head out for an all nighter, and be in Rexburg by tea time. Rexburgers, if you'd like to help, let me know, I'll give you a call when we get into town. I'd also take help with child care, in addition to moving things.
Wish us luck!
P.S. I'd like to take this opportunity to publicly thank my parents and brother for putting up with us these 5 months. I know it hasn't been easy; we've been a strain, and a drain, and a pain. But I hope, I believe there are enough good memories to overshadow the not-so-great ones. We've really enjoyed being with you. We love you all so much.
I can't speak for Matt, but I anticipate that being together again, working as a true team will be a bit of an adjustment. Matt's been "single" all this time, able to go and do things with any of his friends at any time convenient to him (and let me tell you, that won't work with me). And I have been the boss of my family, and made many significant changes in our daily life that didn't always make it in to our usually brief conversations. I think the only people who might not have a problem getting used to it are the kids!
I am confident, however, that we will be able to adjust, tweak, compromise and change ourselves to be one again. It gives me comfort that our vows were not taken on a whim, for fun or without commitment. When you'll be with someone for eternity, you tend to work a little harder at working things out!
So I'll see him Saturday (I hope) or Sunday morning (for sure). We'll go to church, come back to my parents' house to eat dinner, pile everyone in the van and head out for an all nighter, and be in Rexburg by tea time. Rexburgers, if you'd like to help, let me know, I'll give you a call when we get into town. I'd also take help with child care, in addition to moving things.
Wish us luck!
P.S. I'd like to take this opportunity to publicly thank my parents and brother for putting up with us these 5 months. I know it hasn't been easy; we've been a strain, and a drain, and a pain. But I hope, I believe there are enough good memories to overshadow the not-so-great ones. We've really enjoyed being with you. We love you all so much.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
The girls have a birthday
6 years ago, I gave birth to a tiny little girl, and we named her Elizabeth. She was born on my birthday, and I maintain that she is the best birthday present I've ever received!
Elizabeth is a sweet, caring, intelligent girl. She started kindergarten (homeschool) and is learning how to read. She practically begs for reading lessons on most days of the week. She's even started reading from the Book of Mormon during family scripture study, and can read a lot of verses without much help at all! She loves her brothers, (though she will tell you she does not always like them...) and tries to help them. She's been working especially hard on being a good big sister, and not a second mom, and is coming along famously. She recently took up a liking for dressing like me, and therefore a lot of the gifts for Christmas, from Santa and for her birthday (and my gifts too) were put toward that effort. It really tickles my heart that she likes to do that. She's really blossomed and improved under my new parenting rules, taken from Love and Logic. I can't imagine life without her, and I'm so grateful to be her Mommy.
Elizabeth requested (on her own, without prompting), chocolate cake with lemon frosting, and since that sounded absolutely lovely to me, and she didn't object, we made that cake and shared it. Elizabeth insisted we dress alike for our birthday, of course, so we both wore yellow. She wore her new jeans, but my jeans got another hole in them (never buy Faded Glory), we didn't match completely. (My mother-in-love is sending me money to get jeans for myself once we get back to Rexburg. Thanks, Kathie!) But it was close enough for her. We also ended up matching our cake. :D
So we blew out the candles and opened our gifts together.
Elizabeth is a sweet, caring, intelligent girl. She started kindergarten (homeschool) and is learning how to read. She practically begs for reading lessons on most days of the week. She's even started reading from the Book of Mormon during family scripture study, and can read a lot of verses without much help at all! She loves her brothers, (though she will tell you she does not always like them...) and tries to help them. She's been working especially hard on being a good big sister, and not a second mom, and is coming along famously. She recently took up a liking for dressing like me, and therefore a lot of the gifts for Christmas, from Santa and for her birthday (and my gifts too) were put toward that effort. It really tickles my heart that she likes to do that. She's really blossomed and improved under my new parenting rules, taken from Love and Logic. I can't imagine life without her, and I'm so grateful to be her Mommy.
Elizabeth requested (on her own, without prompting), chocolate cake with lemon frosting, and since that sounded absolutely lovely to me, and she didn't object, we made that cake and shared it. Elizabeth insisted we dress alike for our birthday, of course, so we both wore yellow. She wore her new jeans, but my jeans got another hole in them (never buy Faded Glory), we didn't match completely. (My mother-in-love is sending me money to get jeans for myself once we get back to Rexburg. Thanks, Kathie!) But it was close enough for her. We also ended up matching our cake. :D
So we blew out the candles and opened our gifts together.
Elizabeth got flashing shoes from Kael (which she's wanted since October, when Kael got his pair of flashing shoes), Disney princess card games from me, dress-up scarves from Tristan, and a crib for Marie from Granmama and Grampa. Mom made it herself from an old Mary Kay box and fabric she had on hand. She had to make up the pattern herself, so it's quite amazing, and it looks wonderful.
I got a cute green shirt (Elizabeth), a pink turtleneck (Tristan), Work and the Glory Volume 4 (Kael), and a purple shawl, made by Mom, complete with shawl pin, and my own starter set of essential oils from DoTerra. Rhydon's gift to me was babysitting my kids so I could go out to dinner with Mom and Dad. We went to this FABULOUS vegetarian/vegan restaurant called Lovin' Spoonfuls. It is truly amazing food! I couldn't tell we weren't eating the "real" thing. We had Tempura Shrimp, hummus with cucumber slices, Dad and I had side salads with Sesame tahini dressing, we shared a Pumpkin Bisque soup and a black bean soup. Mom had a giant salad with Thousand Island dressing. Dad had pasta primavera. I had ravioli with alfredo, and shoestring fries. Then we each got shakes: Chocolate Candy Cane, Eggnog, and Strawberry Sunshine. We talked, and laughed, and generally had a great time. I think it was my best birthday so far, except for the fact that I couldn't share it with my husband. We brought home "beef" stroganoff for Rhydon. It was all lovely.
Christmas with the Kiddos, part 2
So we spent most of the 23rd and 24th cooking, dicing, gathering, and slicing, in preparation for our Christmas feast. It was somewhat of a challenge this year, being new vegetarians. The main issue was whether to have our traditional Buffalo Wings or not. We've had Dad's recipe of Buffalo Wings for as long as I can remember, and while we're okay with chicken every once in a while, we wanted to see if we could come up with a substitute. So we cooked up some Buffalo Fries instead! We mixed up the sauce for the wings, then cooked some oven fries (potato wedges), basting with the sauce halfway through, and using the extra sauce for dipping. It was so delicious! We made some wings too, but it was the general opinion of those gathered that the fries were better, and there was no real desire for the wings. In fact, for the first time in HISTORY, we had to make Rhydon eat the leftover wings (except the few I saved for Matt, who could not be with us). Usually there is a fight for them! That's how it was with the fries this year. I even had to make a new batch for Christmas Day.
Also, we watch a lot of the Travel Channel's show, Man V. Food, with Adam Richman. He's always taking on a new challenge of eating someone's spiciest wings, so Dad decided we'd have our own hot wing challenge and made a new spicy hot sauce for 3 of the wings. Now, my taste buds must really have changed while I've been here, because the original recipe wings were not spicy, and the challenge wings were not as spicy as I could handle. So in the battle of Man V. Food, Men (and Woman) won! (The sauce was quite delicious though.)
The rest of our feast was a lovely selection of culinary temptations from around the world. Baba ganouj, hummus, dolmas, indian yogurt, Thai curry (my own recipe, and very tasty!), Mediterranean eggplant dip, salsa, Greek yogurt (delicious with fries and wings, and dolmas too!), Moroccan lentils. And there were the requisite crackers, chips and dips (onion and taco). Of course we had the perennial Christmas shortbread, a tradition from Dad's childhood, that my children now love. We also had our Orange Blossom punch, though we experimented with tweaking the recipe to make it healthier. Our main concern was corn syrup (high fructose or otherwise). We used fresh orange juice (because we could, thanks to Bountiful Baskets food co-op), sparkling water instead of ginger ale, less sugar, and on the second batch we substituted maraschino juice with pomegranate juice. It was different, but pleasant, and certainly worth repeating. But both Rhydon and I agreed afterward, that it still was not as wonderful as plain cold water! My, how we've changed!!!
(I would like to note at this point that Matt was able to join us via webcam for much of the day, enjoying his own food, lusting after ours, and watching and even opening presents we'd sent him previously. Then he left us to go out for sushi. Why didn't we think of sushi?)
After we'd gorged ourselves on our first plates of deliciousness, we could no longer hold off the kids from opening presents, and so it began. I will attempt to list gifts received (and who from) in order from youngest to oldest:
Tristan: Snow boots (Elizabeth), Blocks (Grandpa), superhero cape (Uncle Rhydon), little-manly books (Kael),
Nope. Changed my mind. Too many gifts. I will just make mention of the most notable.
All three kids got winter boots. This is the first time ANY of my kids have gotten winter boots.
All three kids got Lego Duplo blocks from Grandpa. All exactly the same, except for different symbols on each individual block to help determine ownership without limiting said ownership to one child (they can be passed on to the next child someday).
All three kids got superhero capes from Uncle Rhydon. Yay! (Thanks, Mom, for making them.)
Mom and I made 1 pair of jammies for Elizabeth, and 2 pair for Kael (pictured). I've had to make several repairs to Kael's, because I'm the one who sewed them, and I'm still learning. Sorry! At least I'm learning, right?
The theme of Mom and Dad's gifts was camping/preparedness, and the gifts were received with great joy and enthusiasm. (Pictured)
I got a book, Work and the Glory #3 (already have 1 and 2), and two skirts from the kids. Much to my delight, I was also given a preparedness gift or two: I got a 72 hour kit and water purifiers to put therein. This is a recently developed interest, and I was so happy to receive these things. Rhydon received some of the same things, and some more.
Mom and I got 2 pairs of matching pajamas from Dad, by Victoria's Secret. Long-sleeved, pants, one silk, one flannel. It's been years since we last had matching jammies, and I badly needed new ones, so it was a great gift!
Oh, and Mom worked hard and made a new outfit for Elizabeth's baby doll, Marie. Apparently, Marie is an oddly shaped baby, and it was difficult finding clothes patterns that fit her, but Mom pulled it off, and Elizabeth was so happy!
We sent Matt a new shirt and pair of pants that he'd better be wearing when we see him this weekend *squeal!* or there could be dire consequences. ;)
Then we watched The Christmas Carol, starring George C. Scott (our favorite version), and put the kids to bed only a little past their bedtime. They slept in until almost 9a the next day, so Santa gift-receiving was much delayed, but happily enjoyed.
Here are the best pictures. We had a great time!
Also, we watch a lot of the Travel Channel's show, Man V. Food, with Adam Richman. He's always taking on a new challenge of eating someone's spiciest wings, so Dad decided we'd have our own hot wing challenge and made a new spicy hot sauce for 3 of the wings. Now, my taste buds must really have changed while I've been here, because the original recipe wings were not spicy, and the challenge wings were not as spicy as I could handle. So in the battle of Man V. Food, Men (and Woman) won! (The sauce was quite delicious though.)
The rest of our feast was a lovely selection of culinary temptations from around the world. Baba ganouj, hummus, dolmas, indian yogurt, Thai curry (my own recipe, and very tasty!), Mediterranean eggplant dip, salsa, Greek yogurt (delicious with fries and wings, and dolmas too!), Moroccan lentils. And there were the requisite crackers, chips and dips (onion and taco). Of course we had the perennial Christmas shortbread, a tradition from Dad's childhood, that my children now love. We also had our Orange Blossom punch, though we experimented with tweaking the recipe to make it healthier. Our main concern was corn syrup (high fructose or otherwise). We used fresh orange juice (because we could, thanks to Bountiful Baskets food co-op), sparkling water instead of ginger ale, less sugar, and on the second batch we substituted maraschino juice with pomegranate juice. It was different, but pleasant, and certainly worth repeating. But both Rhydon and I agreed afterward, that it still was not as wonderful as plain cold water! My, how we've changed!!!
(I would like to note at this point that Matt was able to join us via webcam for much of the day, enjoying his own food, lusting after ours, and watching and even opening presents we'd sent him previously. Then he left us to go out for sushi. Why didn't we think of sushi?)
After we'd gorged ourselves on our first plates of deliciousness, we could no longer hold off the kids from opening presents, and so it began. I will attempt to list gifts received (and who from) in order from youngest to oldest:
Nope. Changed my mind. Too many gifts. I will just make mention of the most notable.
All three kids got winter boots. This is the first time ANY of my kids have gotten winter boots.
All three kids got Lego Duplo blocks from Grandpa. All exactly the same, except for different symbols on each individual block to help determine ownership without limiting said ownership to one child (they can be passed on to the next child someday).
All three kids got superhero capes from Uncle Rhydon. Yay! (Thanks, Mom, for making them.)
Mom and I made 1 pair of jammies for Elizabeth, and 2 pair for Kael (pictured). I've had to make several repairs to Kael's, because I'm the one who sewed them, and I'm still learning. Sorry! At least I'm learning, right?
The theme of Mom and Dad's gifts was camping/preparedness, and the gifts were received with great joy and enthusiasm. (Pictured)
I got a book, Work and the Glory #3 (already have 1 and 2), and two skirts from the kids. Much to my delight, I was also given a preparedness gift or two: I got a 72 hour kit and water purifiers to put therein. This is a recently developed interest, and I was so happy to receive these things. Rhydon received some of the same things, and some more.
Mom and I got 2 pairs of matching pajamas from Dad, by Victoria's Secret. Long-sleeved, pants, one silk, one flannel. It's been years since we last had matching jammies, and I badly needed new ones, so it was a great gift!
Oh, and Mom worked hard and made a new outfit for Elizabeth's baby doll, Marie. Apparently, Marie is an oddly shaped baby, and it was difficult finding clothes patterns that fit her, but Mom pulled it off, and Elizabeth was so happy!
We sent Matt a new shirt and pair of pants that he'd better be wearing when we see him this weekend *squeal!* or there could be dire consequences. ;)
Then we watched The Christmas Carol, starring George C. Scott (our favorite version), and put the kids to bed only a little past their bedtime. They slept in until almost 9a the next day, so Santa gift-receiving was much delayed, but happily enjoyed.
Here are the best pictures. We had a great time!
Happy (early) birthday to me! *Nei-ei-ei-eigh!*
So a few weeks ago, I was sitting and wondering what I could ask for, for my birthday. I wanted to be frugal, because money is tight, but I knew my family wouldn't let me get away with getting nothing. Then it occurred to me, that I could just have an experience! Two years ago, Matt took me across the U. S./Mexico border for my birthday, because I'd never been out of the country. Well, guess what else I hadn't done? I had never ridden a horse! It's true! So, I put out my wish on Facebook:
And what do you know? A friend of mine from church sees that, and goes and finds someone for me! Dianne set the whole thing up for me, and today was the day I got to ride a horse for the first time IN MY LIFE!!
I would like to ride a horse for the first time in my life, for Christmas or my birthday. Anyone own a horse who would be willing to give me a lesson? It just might be plain wrong that I'm almost 27 and have never ridden a horse.
And what do you know? A friend of mine from church sees that, and goes and finds someone for me! Dianne set the whole thing up for me, and today was the day I got to ride a horse for the first time IN MY LIFE!!
I forget the horses' names because I started this on that day but finished two weeks later... someone help me! I'll fix this post when I figure it out.
I had a fabulous time! I think I may be a natural talent! Hahaha. What a great birthday present! Thank you, Dianne, and thanks to the Gambles for sharing with me.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Christmas with the Kiddos, part 1
We decided not to go to Disneyland. :( We were all very sad, but Matt and I are confident we made the right decision.
But that means we won't be able to bring Matt any Christmas stuff, so I decided we would make Matt a Christmas box. (And we'll be sending it UPS, because if we sent it through the Post Office, he wouldn't get it until Valentine's Day.) So to start, we made cookies. Snickerdoodles first, because they're Matt's favorite.
Then we did some crafts.
And yesterday, we took the kids to the library for storytime with Santa. He read Twas the Night Before Christmas , then everyone sang Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, and the first verse of Silent Night. Then everyone got to sit on Santa's lap and tell him what they want for Christmas. Elizabeth was first in line, and promptly told Santa she wants a bike for Christmas. I told her that Santa is smart and knows we're soon moving to a place where she won't be able to use her bike for a while anyway, and might send it to her later... I'll be including a note in her stocking from Santa explaining, and then when we finally can get her a bike, I'll attach a note saying something like, "Sorry it's late. Hope you like it. Love, Santa" Yes, that should work.
Kael was next, saying he wants a toy airplane that flies by remote control. Can I just say this statement blindsided me! He'd never mentioned anything like that before! Well, drat. Hope he likes what he gets anyway, and doesn't focus too much on what he didn't get.
Tristan wanted nothing to do with Santa, to start. I merely suggested he go sit with Santa and he had a meltdown! That's that first pic of him, then the second is when I wasn't fast enough to catch his screaming face, he saw the camera, smiled and said, "Happy?" Then after everyone else was done, someone had pulled up a chair so a mom could sit with her child next to Santa, so I decided to try that, and had another mom there take the pictures for me. He was about to protest as we sat down, and then he saw the camera... what a ham.
Now I'll wrap a couple of the presents we got for Matt, and put them in a box with the cookies and crafts. Then when we get to Rexburg, we'll have another Christmas all together.
By the way, for those of you readers who don't know, we did finally find a place in Rexburg to live! We're 2 blocks away from where we were before, and in a completely different stake, much less ward. Oh well, it's still a good central location, and we'll be near friends all around. Thank you, everyone, for all the good thoughts in that direction.
Then we did some crafts.
And yesterday, we took the kids to the library for storytime with Santa. He read Twas the Night Before Christmas , then everyone sang Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, and the first verse of Silent Night. Then everyone got to sit on Santa's lap and tell him what they want for Christmas. Elizabeth was first in line, and promptly told Santa she wants a bike for Christmas. I told her that Santa is smart and knows we're soon moving to a place where she won't be able to use her bike for a while anyway, and might send it to her later... I'll be including a note in her stocking from Santa explaining, and then when we finally can get her a bike, I'll attach a note saying something like, "Sorry it's late. Hope you like it. Love, Santa" Yes, that should work.
Kael was next, saying he wants a toy airplane that flies by remote control. Can I just say this statement blindsided me! He'd never mentioned anything like that before! Well, drat. Hope he likes what he gets anyway, and doesn't focus too much on what he didn't get.
Tristan wanted nothing to do with Santa, to start. I merely suggested he go sit with Santa and he had a meltdown! That's that first pic of him, then the second is when I wasn't fast enough to catch his screaming face, he saw the camera, smiled and said, "Happy?" Then after everyone else was done, someone had pulled up a chair so a mom could sit with her child next to Santa, so I decided to try that, and had another mom there take the pictures for me. He was about to protest as we sat down, and then he saw the camera... what a ham.
Now I'll wrap a couple of the presents we got for Matt, and put them in a box with the cookies and crafts. Then when we get to Rexburg, we'll have another Christmas all together.
By the way, for those of you readers who don't know, we did finally find a place in Rexburg to live! We're 2 blocks away from where we were before, and in a completely different stake, much less ward. Oh well, it's still a good central location, and we'll be near friends all around. Thank you, everyone, for all the good thoughts in that direction.
More Thanksgiving Fun
Grandpa did pretty well, too!Thanksgiving Fun
Our Thanksgiving Dinner, left to right, top to bottom:
Stuffed Portobello Mushrooms (Dad's new recipe)
Mushroom Gravy
Pumpkin Custard
Homemade Cranberry Sauce (none left! yum!)
Steamed Broccoflower
Rice Bread Dressing
Garlic Onion Mashed Potatoes
Sweet Potatoes and Yams with Craisins
Rhubarb Crisp
It was totally vegetarian (not vegan), and delicious, and I didn't miss the turkey at all.
video flashbacks #1
Tristan, almost 2 years ago! He's so different now! *motherly sigh*
--
Arienne Baugh
Monday, November 30, 2009
Home is Where the Heart is...
"Where are you from?" "What's your hometown?" Two of the toughest questions I've ever had continuously in my life. What's the litany?
I was born in Charleston, SC.
I lived in New York for a while, Schenectady, I think? Oh boy, I think I spelled that wrong.
Then we moved to Welch, MN.
Then it was on to the place I grew up, which in itself is confusing. It used to be one of my great pleasures to recite the following list quickly and without taking a breath:
Our address was Goodhue, our phone number was White Rock, I went to school in Cannon Falls, we actually lived near Vasa, and I went to a Red Wing church which was actually in Wisconsin. Got all that? Uh-huh. And all that, I was never really fond of calling Minnesota home. Sorry, Minnesotan friends. It's just not for everyone.
Then I went to college, in Rexburg, Idaho.
Then just before I got married the next year, my parents sold our house and moved to Arizona. Can't really claim that as home either, though I love my parents, and visiting them, and living with them has been great. It still didn't feel like home (I'd never actually lived there until several years later!)
We bounced around Rexburg for several years. We tried a University Ward. Nope. Then it was Rigby. Nope. Then it was Rexburg 4th ward. Then it was Rexburg 9th ward. Nope.
Then we moved down here to Vail, AZ for a couple years. I love the people in my ward, but it wasn't home.
Then we moved back to Rexburg, and into the Rexburg 15th ward. I got along with people, they seemed to like me, and appreciate me. I wasn't lost in a sea of other young married families. People knew who I was, I had a calling I loved (choir accompanist) under the best director (Steve Dresen, he's awesome) I'd ever had, outside my own family. We had friends. Then we were moving again so Matt could do an internship in Disneyland, and for the first time, I was sad to leave. We even arranged for us to be able to move back into the ward again when we came back.
And now, through an unforeseen set of circumstances, that dream may not come true. And it made me realize today, that for the first time in my life, I'd found someplace I could call home. Only, I may not get to go back. Oh sure, I'll be in Rexburg. But for those of you who don't know, in Rexburg, it's really hard sometimes to keep social ties outside your ward boundaries. You just get too busy, and if you aren't forced to see people every week, you tend to forget them, or set them aside. We've all done it, LDS or not.
And that makes me really sad.
But I'll never forget that I found home. Thank you.
I was born in Charleston, SC.
I lived in New York for a while, Schenectady, I think? Oh boy, I think I spelled that wrong.
Then we moved to Welch, MN.
Then it was on to the place I grew up, which in itself is confusing. It used to be one of my great pleasures to recite the following list quickly and without taking a breath:
Our address was Goodhue, our phone number was White Rock, I went to school in Cannon Falls, we actually lived near Vasa, and I went to a Red Wing church which was actually in Wisconsin. Got all that? Uh-huh. And all that, I was never really fond of calling Minnesota home. Sorry, Minnesotan friends. It's just not for everyone.
Then I went to college, in Rexburg, Idaho.
Then just before I got married the next year, my parents sold our house and moved to Arizona. Can't really claim that as home either, though I love my parents, and visiting them, and living with them has been great. It still didn't feel like home (I'd never actually lived there until several years later!)
We bounced around Rexburg for several years. We tried a University Ward. Nope. Then it was Rigby. Nope. Then it was Rexburg 4th ward. Then it was Rexburg 9th ward. Nope.
Then we moved down here to Vail, AZ for a couple years. I love the people in my ward, but it wasn't home.
Then we moved back to Rexburg, and into the Rexburg 15th ward. I got along with people, they seemed to like me, and appreciate me. I wasn't lost in a sea of other young married families. People knew who I was, I had a calling I loved (choir accompanist) under the best director (Steve Dresen, he's awesome) I'd ever had, outside my own family. We had friends. Then we were moving again so Matt could do an internship in Disneyland, and for the first time, I was sad to leave. We even arranged for us to be able to move back into the ward again when we came back.
And now, through an unforeseen set of circumstances, that dream may not come true. And it made me realize today, that for the first time in my life, I'd found someplace I could call home. Only, I may not get to go back. Oh sure, I'll be in Rexburg. But for those of you who don't know, in Rexburg, it's really hard sometimes to keep social ties outside your ward boundaries. You just get too busy, and if you aren't forced to see people every week, you tend to forget them, or set them aside. We've all done it, LDS or not.
And that makes me really sad.
But I'll never forget that I found home. Thank you.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Taking a Break
Hi, my name is Arienne. And I'm an internet-a-holic.
But today, it stops.
Now, I think it's unrealistic to stop competely, but I'm putting up some STRICT limits for myself, indeed, even sacrifices. I have to. My kids need me.
I want to be a good mom, I truly do. And I've tried my best. But there's that saying, Maya Angelou, I think? "When you know better, do better." Well, that's what I'm going to do.
I realize now that a lot of the problems I have with my kids are cries for attention. But I didn't always know what to DO with my kids. I admitted to my mom the other day, "I don't know HOW to play with my kids!" She's given me some suggestions, and I've come up with some of my own. I've been doing a little better with my avoidance over the past few days, but stricter measures must be taken, at least at first.
What are my new rules? No computer when the kids are awake. That means I need to get up earlier than the first kid (before 6am? Really? I think not), or wait until they go to bed, around 7pm. Yup. Yee haw. Packing all my me time into 2-3 hours a night, for about a week and a half. That's how long until my dad comes back. (and when Dad says it's bad, it's BAD.)
That still allows me a little time to check on things with friends, update my blog a little here an a little there. I won't be planting any short term crops in FarmVille, or cooking short order food in CafeWorld, or even playing any computer games, unless I'm really stressed, and even then I might just use that time to take a soak in the hot tub or something. And I have books I want to read... so really, I'm just doing the bare minimum online until I've shown my kids through my actions that I love them, I care about them, and I'm not going to put up with any more crappy behavior. Harsh words, I know, but drastic times call for drastic measures, and sometimes, a little drastic vocabulary.
Aside from that, I NEED HELP! Truly, I don't have a lot of ideas of what to do with my kids. Sad, I know. So please comment on this post with suggestions, PLEASE! Or I may just go crazy.
P. S. I will be using a lot of disciplinary ideas from this book:
But today, it stops.
Now, I think it's unrealistic to stop competely, but I'm putting up some STRICT limits for myself, indeed, even sacrifices. I have to. My kids need me.
I want to be a good mom, I truly do. And I've tried my best. But there's that saying, Maya Angelou, I think? "When you know better, do better." Well, that's what I'm going to do.
I realize now that a lot of the problems I have with my kids are cries for attention. But I didn't always know what to DO with my kids. I admitted to my mom the other day, "I don't know HOW to play with my kids!" She's given me some suggestions, and I've come up with some of my own. I've been doing a little better with my avoidance over the past few days, but stricter measures must be taken, at least at first.
What are my new rules? No computer when the kids are awake. That means I need to get up earlier than the first kid (before 6am? Really? I think not), or wait until they go to bed, around 7pm. Yup. Yee haw. Packing all my me time into 2-3 hours a night, for about a week and a half. That's how long until my dad comes back. (and when Dad says it's bad, it's BAD.)
That still allows me a little time to check on things with friends, update my blog a little here an a little there. I won't be planting any short term crops in FarmVille, or cooking short order food in CafeWorld, or even playing any computer games, unless I'm really stressed, and even then I might just use that time to take a soak in the hot tub or something. And I have books I want to read... so really, I'm just doing the bare minimum online until I've shown my kids through my actions that I love them, I care about them, and I'm not going to put up with any more crappy behavior. Harsh words, I know, but drastic times call for drastic measures, and sometimes, a little drastic vocabulary.
Aside from that, I NEED HELP! Truly, I don't have a lot of ideas of what to do with my kids. Sad, I know. So please comment on this post with suggestions, PLEASE! Or I may just go crazy.
P. S. I will be using a lot of disciplinary ideas from this book:
Sunday, November 1, 2009
A Happy Halloween After All!
So Rhydon brought home a flu last week, and it's pretty much knocked us all out of commission, in turn. He was first, of course. Then Tristan, me, Mom, Kael, and finally Elizabeth. I kept hoping we would get better quickly, but it was not to be. The kids were SO sad that they couldn't go to the ward Halloween party, trunk-or-treating, or trick-or-treating. And we had their costumes planned and everything... so I thought, what can I do? I'm not sure how it came to me, but it occurred to me that trick-or-treating is just going door-to-door, and we have lots of doors in this house, and three people to help... So we trick-or-treated in the house!
So I dressed up the kids. Elizabeth was the Blue Fairy from Pinocchio. Doesn't she just LOOK the part? I think she loved wearing makeup best of all. I'm going to have quite a challenge on my hands when she grows up I think! Talk about beautiful!
I took the easy route with Tristan. We've had these jammas since Kael was that big. They even have a little cape that attaches with velcro at the shoulders, though I didn't do a great job getting a picture of that. Tristan was happy though. He's only 2!So I dressed up the kids. Elizabeth was the Blue Fairy from Pinocchio. Doesn't she just LOOK the part? I think she loved wearing makeup best of all. I'm going to have quite a challenge on my hands when she grows up I think! Talk about beautiful!
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Book Review: Parenting with Love and Logic
A few weeks ago, I posted on Facebook that I was having trouble with my kids minding me. This was my status:
"How do I walk softly and carry a big stick with my kids? They don't take me seriously until I get mad..."
In fact, often my youngest would just laugh. It was really frustrating. I don't enjoying being angry, really.The overwhelming response to my post was that I should read Love and Logic. I requested it at the library, but I had to wait in line, and this week I finally got it!
The book opens with several examples of controlling children and their sad parents. It was like watching Supernanny... you think to yourself, "Well, at least I'm not THAT bad!"
The second chapter defines several ineffective parenting styles, ranging from helicopters (hoverers), and attack helicopters (defensive helicopters-attacking anyone who tries to show their kid the real world; reminds me of that story of the teacher who gave failing grades to cheaters, whose parents then came in and made her give their kids passing grades instead, for no good reason), to drill sergeants (the yellers-which only gets short-term results). There is a passing reference made to parents who don't parent at all, the laissez-faire parent. Of course the ideal is called the Consultant Parent. The focus of this parent is asking questions, and relinquishing any control that is not absolutely necessary. We'll explain more later.
It also goes on to explain that it's better to let children fail and then learn while they are young, than when they go out into the world, because the stakes are more affordable. Protecting them is not showing true love of them, because it leaves them ill-prepared to live on their own and make responsible choices.
The subsequent chapters describe different aspects of this style. Chapter 3 explains how responsible children feel good about themselves, and how our treatment of them affects their self-concept. Chapter 4 emphasizes the need to separate their problems (and learning opportunities) from ours. It also lays down the two rules of Love and Logic:
1) Adults must set firm, loving limits using enforceable statements without showing anger, lecturing, or using threats.
2) When a child causes a problem, the adult shows empathy through sadness and sorrow and then lovingly hands the problem and its consequences back to the child.
Chapter 5 details how to use "thinking words," words that promote thought, with children. Also, it shows how kids need limits, and without those limits, they don't feel secure enough to take risks.
Chapter 6 shows how to let children gain control through making choices. There is a diagram (page 81) that shows how we should give infants very few, if any choices, and give more and more choices as children grow until by high school, they decide just about everything for themselves. This diagram also shows the opposite: that sometimes we give little ones to much choice, and then as they make poor choices, we have to take more and more choices from them as they get older. This is obviously undesirable. One quote I liked:
"Psychologist Sylvia B. Rimm, PhD, says people of all ages compare the amount of control they have in a relationship to only the amount of control they used to have-- not to the amount they feel they should have. When more control is allotted, people are satisfied; when control is cut back, people are angry."
I liked chapter 7. Its title is very expressive: The Recipe for Success: Empathy with Consequences. It explains how we need to show real empathy for our children when they're suffering the consequences of their choices, as opposed to sarcastic or feigned empathy. Another bit I liked was that consequences don't have to be immediate! I've been told the opposite for a long time by various experts, and I had a lot of trouble with that because a parent can never anticipate EVERY infraction, and I was terrible about coming up with something in the heat of the moment, so I always defaulted to the same things: mostly time outs, and occasionally doing nothing. But the authors do a fabulous job of showing how waiting can actually be more effective! It goes like this: Kid makes poor choice. I say, "I think that was a poor choice. I'm going to have to do something about it, but not right now. I'll get back to you. Try not to worry about it." Zing!
Chapter 8 admonishes patience and practice. I needed this chapter. I was stressed: where do I start? The authors tell you to pick one behavior you would like to change in your child, and come up with a game plan on how you will respond. The situation comes up, you do your best with your plan, then do it again. Eventually, they promise, it will become second nature. And one last comfort, it's never too late to start.
The second part of the book goes through specific situations, and shows how to use Love and Logic to solve them. Arranged in alphabetical order, it acts like an index that a parent can reference whenever they're having trouble. Some that promise salvation for me: Allowances/Money, Bossiness, Discipline in Public, The Room: Keeping it Clean, and Sassing and Disrespect.
All in all, I like this book, and I think I will start applying its principles. It will not be easy, and I will most likely feel utterly ridiculous at first, but the results promised are worth the work, and I know they will come.
I will be mentioning various experiences with Love and Logic in other blog posts in the future.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Candy Classics - Open for Business
I'm here to announce the opening of my all-natural candy business, Candy Classics. We endeavor to make all your favorite candies the way they were made originally-no fake sugars, flavors or colors.
My specialty is English Toffee, but I also make truffles, such as Ravishing Raspberry, pictured left, Coconut Crave, Peppermint Paradise, and Caramel Apple.
I ship anywhere in the contiguous United States, and my prices are very reasonable.
Please go to the Candy Classics website for prices, and full product descriptions.
I will also be posting a poll asking what flavor I should introduce for this year's holiday season.
Thank you in advance for your support and patronage.
I look forward to serving you!
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