Tips for the Multitude: Taming the Clothing Monster

I have 9 (almost 10) kids.

And they are all REALLY close in age, and therefore size.

When I first married my husband, it was pretty easy to keep track of whose clothes belonged to whom.  I knew my own kids' clothes, and his 4 kids were all different sizes and thus easily sorted.

Then, as kids often do, they grew.

About a year ago I found myself confused about who had passed down which clothes, and I wasn't the only one!  The kids forgot what passed on or they thought that something would always belong to them even though they had grown out of it (mostly the younger set) and get all upset when a sibling was wearing what they thought was theirs.

I was frustrated.  They were frustrated.

So I came up with a system.

The Dot System.  (I can't be creative all the time...)

I thought some of you out there might also benefit from this system, so I'm here to share!

Here's how it works.

The oldest child of each gender gets one dot, adding one dot as you go down the line within the gender.  Generally speaking it's pretty easy to separate boys vs girls clothing.  (If you find there's a problem with a certain thing, say, jeans, you can either add a gender symbol on the tag or embroider a stripe of color to help you remember.)  You put the determined amount of dots on the tag or hem of each garment with a black permanent marker.  Nothing is exempt, though I try to be discreet with the dots.  Shirts, pants, skirts, dresses, even underwear and socks.  Sometimes it even goes to winter clothes and swimsuits depending on how confused we are.  Once everything is properly labeled, it's easy to sort!

Time to pass on the wardrobe to the next "generation"?  Easy peasy! Just add another dot, and you're ready to go.

So here's what it looks like right now in my house: (Stars represent dots)

* Elizabeth
** Julie
*** Katie
**** Mallie
***** Lorelai

* Kael
**Tristan
*** Layton
**** Joseph

This system has stood the test of time and several size changes. Joseph is a recent addition to the system, just because it was pretty easy to determine what was his until his socks needed to be bigger.  I still don't mark anything else.  But it sure saves me with the three older girls, the three older boys, and the two littler girls!  Whose is it? Check the dots! Wrong number?  Add one (or two)!  They can't argue with the dots like they can with size numbers.

Oh, and let me tell you, it saved Christmas!!  The kids ALL received new jammas, socks, and underwear, and a lot of it was VERY similar.  Even the jammies needed it, because I do not have the brainpower at this point to remember who received which ones. Solution? Dot them! Right out of the packages!  It went something like this: "Ooh! New underwear! Cool! Here, Mom."  Dot dot dot dot dot... "All yours!"  And then the socks and underwear were strewn all over the room.  No worries, just check the dots!  4 dots on something pink? Mallie!  3 dots on something navy blue or superhero? Layton! 2 dots on something boyish? Tristan! 1 dot on something frilly? Kael! No, I'm kidding. Elizabeth!  No worry, no stress.

There you have it! The dot system for keeping track of clothes in a large family.  Do you think it will work for you?  Any questions? Suggestions for improvement? Let me know in the comments!

The Country Bunny and Her Brood

Easter Sunday, our Relief Society President gave a lesson based on this book:

She did a fabulous job of relating it to this life and the Atonement in honor of Easter.

That's not what I took away best from her lesson, though. Sorry, Ashley!

The part that hit me most was where she teaches her little brood of 21 bunnies how to clean the house, cook, take care of themselves, and treat each other with respect. Here's one page:

 I don't have 21 kids, but I want that kind of order!  I pondered it the rest of the afternoon.  By evening, I had a plan.

I thought up 4 Helper jobs, one of which I can split up into three jobs for when all the kids are here; I came up with a list of things they should each do on their own every day; and I created a list of things that needed doing on a weekly basis.  I cut up one of those flexible fridge magnets that we get from every business ever created and glued each child's name on one piece.  Then I made a sign.  It looks like this:

What it looks like when everyone is here

What it looks like most of the time

<--personal day="" done="" every="" jobs="" p="">

<--important p="" question="">
<--weekly add="" chores="" everyone="" i="" may="" more.="" need="" one.="" p="" picks="" think="" to=""><--place current="" for="" in="" names="" not="" p="" rotation.="" the="">


Here's a description of each Helper's responsibilities:
Kitchen Helper: Empties dishwasher, fills it back up again.
Meal Helper: Sets table, clears serving dishes, wipes down table (all three meals).
Laundry Helper:  Does one load of laundry, start to finish, from washing to putting away.
Bathroom Helper: Swish the toilet (no cleaner), clear and swipe the counters, clear the floor.

Kitchen Helper is for all three meals when I have just four kids, and split up into three meals when I have more.

Part of getting dressed for bed is picking out clothes to wear for the next day.  They then place those clothes against the wall behind the dining room table so the clothes are accessible when the kids wake up in the morning.  To facilitate this, I made name plaques (marker on 8"x11" white paper in a sheet protector) for each child and posted them on the designated wall.

There were also some rules I established that aren't listed here, but I plan on posting them elsewhere soon.  Those rules are:

1) NO blankies, pillows, or animals out of the bedroom after breakfast.
2) Rooms must be clean before each meal.
3) Everybody helps clean up everything, without regard to ownership or who was playing with it. 

I am also working on a set of chores that they can do for money, like sort the sock bag and clean the patio door.

This week we had all the kids for Spring Break!  A perfect time to try my *evil* plan...Bwa ha ha ha...

Ahem.

Anyway, it started out great!  I introduced the plan to the kids on Monday at Family Home Evening.  There was no initial complaining.  I thought that showed promise.

I won't lie.  There was some grumbling on the first day of actually DOING the chores, but I think it helped that I was there doing it with them, and that almost everyone had a chore to do. (I only have 6 helper jobs at most, so two kids get a "weekend" from chores.)

I was actually surprised by how many of them were excited to do their chores!  I'm not kidding!  "I love to do laundry!" came out of at least two mouths, and "Hooray, I'm the meal helper!" was almost universal.  They took pride in their responsibilities!

Happy side effects:  One-on-one time with each child.  Cleaner house.  They made less mess to begin with.  There was less complaining because it was right there, on the list (I wasn't 'picking' on someone all the time).

They learn responsibility and important life skills.  I have more sanity and time for other projects, me time, and spouse time.  Win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win.  And the baby will have a system to grow up in.  Add another win there in a few months.

Happy mom, that's me!

To Donate or Not to Donate, That is the Question.

Hold on.

Hear me out.

Imagine with me for a minute...

It's that time again: Christmas, birthday, spring cleaning, your closet is overflowing, you can't afford the storage unit anymore or find yourself contemplating a bigger one.  You've decided it's time to get rid of some stuff.

You unlock the lock, throw open the doors and behold: the Mountain of Stuff.  Boxes and boxes of it.  Some of it is from last week, some from last year, some from 30 years ago, some from the Mesozoic Era.  Plastic boxes, cardboard boxes, metal boxes. Some black or silver or white garbage bags.  You well and truly don't even know what's there exactly.  What are you going to do with it?  Toss. Keep. Donate. 

You think to yourself as you open each box, Oh, I remember this!  What a great time we had together.  I guess I don't need it anymore.  But it must still be useful!  I'll donate it. Someone will want it.

Stop. Hold it right there.

What are you holding?  Clothing?  An old toy?  A book?  A piece of furniture?  An 8-track player?  A holey (that is NOT misspelled) shoe?  A sock with no mate?  An archaic piece of technology?

Is it REALLY going to help someone in need?  Or is it just going to get some treasure-to-you-trash-to-everyone-else guilt off your chest?  Will it help someone survive or live better, or will it just add to a pile of useless junk in someone else's closet or even the store because no one will pay money for it??

What brought this on?  It is natural to wonder.  I'll tell you.

My kids' toys.

It happens naturally enough.  They get a toy from a friend or family member.  They love it for a few hours, days, months, or the lucky toys even get a few years.  Inevitably, the toys lose their appeal and drift to sundry bedroom corners or sink to the bottom of the toy box.  Vital pieces go missing (or are eaten, ha).

"But!" you say.  "We have memories here!  I can't just throw our memories in the trash!  If this such-and-such is used by someone else, our memories will be preserved, honored, remembered!"

Um. Yeah. No. Not really.

They won't have your memories.  Your memories belong to you.  They're pretty much meaningless to most everyone else, and that's fine.

You know what that stuff is doing in your house, to your house?  To your psyche?  To your soul??

Who has heard the backpack/rocks/sin parable?  Raise of hands?  Great!   Well, it doesn't just pertain to sin.

The stuff we accumulate weighs on our minds.  It stops us in our tracks physically and emotionally and spiritually.  The more you have to keep track of, the less brainpower you have to dedicate to other (some would say more important) things or people.

So I'm going to get rid of these extra toys that the kids don't even ask about anymore, that don't have all their pieces, and even some that require batteries that I don't feel like spending the money to replace.  And seeing as how most of it got to us because someone else didn't want it either, I'm going to toss it in the trash and not feel even one tiny inkling of guilt about it.

Because sometimes, your trash is everybody else's trash too.

And you know what the kids are going to do?  Mostly nothing.   They won't even notice that stuff is gone.  If they do notice, it will be in passing.  I will answer honestly when they ask me if I know where it is, "No, I don't know exactly where it is."  Then they will forget.

Oh, and they'll be running around the house with huge grins on their faces because, unbeknownst to them, they were weighed down by all the stuff they had to choose from to play with, and suddenly they feel much better.  They won't know why, but they'll be happier.  And I like happy children.

So next time you find yourself getting ready to donate something, please ask yourself if it is truly worth donating, or if it is more honorable to take a picture (with a camera or just your mind) and let it rest in peace.



Arienne

The Hymn Project: #301 I Am a Child of God

I am a child of God, 
And he has sent me here,
Has given me an earthly home
With parents kind and dear.


I am a child of God,
And so my needs are great;
Help me to understand his words
Before it grows too late.


I am a child of God,
Rich blessings are in store;
If I but learn to do his will
I'll live with him once more.


[Chorus]
Lead me, guide me, walk beside me,
Help me find the way.
Teach me all that I must do
To live with him someday.


I love that our hymnbook has a few children's songs in it.  There are such beautiful, simple truths in songs written for children, and as children of God, we are never truly all grown up in this life. We all need to help each other, young and old. Everyone has something to teach.


How have you helped someone to know they're a child of God? How did you get your testimony that you are a child of God? Or is this a new concept for you?

Happy hymning!

Taking a Break

Hi, my name is Arienne. And I'm an internet-a-holic.

But today, it stops.

Now, I think it's unrealistic to stop competely, but I'm putting up some STRICT limits for myself, indeed, even sacrifices. I have to. My kids need me.

I want to be a good mom, I truly do. And I've tried my best. But there's that saying, Maya Angelou, I think? "When you know better, do better." Well, that's what I'm going to do.

I realize now that a lot of the problems I have with my kids are cries for attention. But I didn't always know what to DO with my kids. I admitted to my mom the other day, "I don't know HOW to play with my kids!" She's given me some suggestions, and I've come up with some of my own. I've been doing a little better with my avoidance over the past few days, but stricter measures must be taken, at least at first.

What are my new rules? No computer when the kids are awake. That means I need to get up earlier than the first kid (before 6am? Really? I think not), or wait until they go to bed, around 7pm. Yup. Yee haw. Packing all my me time into 2-3 hours a night, for about a week and a half. That's how long until my dad comes back. (and when Dad says it's bad, it's BAD.)

That still allows me a little time to check on things with friends, update my blog a little here an a little there. I won't be planting any short term crops in FarmVille, or cooking short order food in CafeWorld, or even playing any computer games, unless I'm really stressed, and even then I might just use that time to take a soak in the hot tub or something. And I have books I want to read... so really, I'm just doing the bare minimum online until I've shown my kids through my actions that I love them, I care about them, and I'm not going to put up with any more crappy behavior. Harsh words, I know, but drastic times call for drastic measures, and sometimes, a little drastic vocabulary.

Aside from that, I NEED HELP! Truly, I don't have a lot of ideas of what to do with my kids. Sad, I know. So please comment on this post with suggestions, PLEASE! Or I may just go crazy.


P. S. I will be using a lot of disciplinary ideas from this book: