Saturday, June 18, 2011

Extra! Extra! Lorelai Crawls! (Sort of)

Today, Lorelai crawled across the floor! She was trying to get my phone. Mom calls it creeping, you may call it army crawling... doesn't matter really, the point is, she moved! I tried to upload this video to Facebook, but our internet is abominably slow. So here it is! It's about 7 minutes long, but so much fun!


Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Finding the Joy Again

For the past while, I've been feeling... Not so great about being a mom. Most of the time, I felt ambiguous at best, and, at worst, like running away and leaving them behind. This is really off for me, as I've wanted to be a mom since I was old enough to know I could be someday. Also, while every mother has those moments, or even days, when she wishes life were different, it was now the rule for me instead of the exception.

For a long time, I don't think I even noticed. Then I recognized it, but I was still too bogged down in my own drama to try to change anything. Then it started to bug me, but because I couldn't see how to change, I just felt worse. Then it bothered me enough that I wanted to change enough to put forth whatever effort was required. Then I hit my knees and prayed... And help started coming at me in rapid fire succession!

First came comments from other mothers (real and fictional) who not only loved their kids, and being with them, but almost basked in their childish craziness! Yeah, right, I thought.

Then I had a really bad day with them, and my mom said something like, "They're languishing from lack of attention from their mother." Ouch. So I cried and prayed some more.

On Sunday, the lesson was based on the talk by Elder Oaks on Desire. Through the lesson, I realized that my actions weren't reflecting what I wanted my priorities to be, and I didn't feel the way I wanted to feel about my life. Luckily, I also learned how to fix it!

"... We should begin with a desire for such qualities and call upon our loving Heavenly Father for help with our feelings."

So I did. And I'm happy to report that I have made a lot of progress this last week in rediscovering my love for my children and motherhood, my good temper, my personal parenting style, and the ability to hear and act on in-the-moment inspiration. I've been able, perhaps for the first time, to successfully balance loving affection with firm, gentle discipline, and see the rewards. I'm grateful to finally be on the right path.

I know Heavenly Father loves me. He knows who I am capable of becoming, and how to get me there. He stands ready and willing to help me as soon as I'm ready to ask for it. I'm grateful for the Atonement, and how it allows me to sponge away the follies and sins of my past and create a better, brighter future.

Here's a link to the talk by Elder Oaks:

Elder Oaks - Desire
- Arienne

Monday, June 13, 2011

So you think I'm picky?

Picky adj choosy, finicky, captious, critical, dainty, fastidious, fussy, particular, persnickety, exacting, selective, hard to please

So you think I'm picky, huh? My standards are too high? I expect too much from men?

Dang straight! And I have good reasons!

First of all, I've experienced some of the worst in men. Not THE worst, I know, but bad enough to teach me that I WASN'T picky enough last time. There's NO WAY I'm going through THAT again.

And I have four other very good reasons to be picky. They need a strong, good role model of what being a man is supposed to be, and also how women should be treated.

So yes, I expect a man to:
* Do the asking and planning of a date
* Open my doors and pull out my chairs for me
* Pay for the date
* Honor his priesthood
* Have a solid knowledge of the Gospel
* Go to his church meetings as often as possible
* Have a strong testimony
* Be well-educated, whether through a degree or self-educating
* Take care of his body by eating well and exercising
* Love children
* Expect the norm to be me staying home with the kids while he works
* Take me to the temple
* Think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world.
* Care about what I have to say, and show it.

There may be more on my list I just can't think of right now.  I'll add comments as I think of them.

But I am not ashamed of the things on my list.

And if you can't handle it, you aren't the man for me.


/rant over