Thursday, January 29, 2009

Sewing it up

So this morning, I sewed up Kael's bear, Joe, for the 5th time, or so. (Yes, Joe Bear. Hey, it was 3:00 in the morning when I named this object for attachment, so give me a break.) I've sewed both arms, one twice, his leg, and now his crotch. It was a delicate surgery, let me tell you, but Joe came through like a champ. I'm just wondering how many times I'm going to have to do this. What will threaten to fall of next? His head? An ear? He's already lost an eye I still need to replace or something. He's a well-loved bear. I should start making a big deal out of it, you know, make a hospital gown for him, some casts and slings that are reusable, maybe a little heartbeat machine.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009


Kael is sick today. The bad kind. Throw up, or whatever you like to call it. I'm lucky I missed the first two times he puked, but I just experienced the third one. He coughs and coughs and coughs and suddenly it's more than a cough. Projectile vomit all over. If he'd eaten any cookies, he lost them. I almost lost some myself. A sensitive nose and gag reflex are not good qualities in a mom. Does anyone have any tips for getting over/coping with such a thing? Thank goodness Matt was here to clean up most of the mess. Bleh. And Kael feels fine between "episodes."

Now I'm just hoping the other kids don't get sick. Yikes. I would rather it be me, as much as I would hate that.

The good news is that I have started craving fruit (as opposed to candy, chips and other not so great things), and it was on sale today at the store! Yay! Fruit will hopefully help the rest of us stay healthy.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Panic Attack! and other things.

So Saturday was Kael's first Primary activity. He and Elizabeth had a great time. But apparently Kael gave the leaders quite a scare! They noticed Elizabeth playing in the gym with some other kids, and asked each other, Didn't she have her brother with her? Answers in the affirmative set off a mild panic and search. They looked all over the church, yelling his name. Finally, after they were thoroughly panicked, they found him in the nursery room downstairs, playing with the toys. I'll have to make sure to tell him to stay with the other kids next time.

Homeschooling is back in full swing after my recovery. Today we learned F and G. The kids really enjoy school, and this morning, Elizabeth even said I was her favorite teacher ever. I'm happy to hear that, since they'll be stuck with me for 12 years of school or so! Ha ha.

A sad day is fast approaching. I think Tristan may not need naps much anymore. He's not even in Nursery yet! *sigh* Luckily, they let me take a short nap every afternoon. Today, I fell asleep on Kael's bed, which has the side guard, and Tristan doesn't know how to get over it, so he was stuck on the bed with me. He played at the window and with the blankets while I slept! It also helps that Elizabeth is such a little mommy, and the boys listen to her. I'm so glad I had a girl first! lol

Friday, January 23, 2009

Parting Thoughts on Miscarriage

A week and a half ago I discovered I would not be having a baby after all. I was heartbroken. The news knocked me out of commission for the rest of the day. I cried, I slept, I barely ate or talked. I blamed myself, mostly, though I now know that it's not me at all. It was a hard day. But when you have 3 kids already, you don't have a lot of time to wallow, so I started to move on.

I had a decision to make, though. Should I wait until I miscarried naturally, or have an operation called a D&C to get the baby out? There were lots of aspects to consider, and I had no information. Monday I talked to two of my friends who have had miscarriages. One had miscarried before she knew she was pregnant, and therefore didn't know she was miscarrying until she was in the middle of it. She told me her story, and my goodness, it sounded awful. I had thought I might want to wait, for closure purposes, but after hearing her account I wasn't so sure. The other friend has had several miscarriages in a row. She recommended getting the D&C, and the combined advice led me to decide on just that.

Tuesday, I went in to the doctor. They did an ultrasound to see how big the baby was. They wanted to make sure I wasn't too far along. Apparently their cutoff date for doing the procedure in the office is 12 weeks. I was really close, at 11.5, so they gave me the choice, saying there might be complications. As scary as that sounded, we really didn't have the funds to go to the hospital. I don't have insurance, and the price difference is surreal... $5-7K for the hospital, versus $500 for in-office. So we chose in-office and prayed for the best. It went just fine, no complications at all. I was very sleepy for the rest of the day, but other than that, it's been pretty good.

I mourned a lot that first day. I've mourned a little more every day since. Talking to my friends who had miscarriages, before my own, and after, were very different experiences. It's one thing to feel sad or sorry for someone who miscarries, and another to mourn together as people who have both experienced it. And the mourning process itself is different, I think, from any other. There's no baby. No one can tell you, "Oh, what a great person they were; they'll be missed." People don't know what to say. I wondered if I had done something wrong, or if I hadn't wanted the baby enough (I had problems accepting this pregnancy). I'm still a little scared that it will happen again. There isn't any real doctrine about miscarriages either. The closest thing I found was that if you miscarry (lose the baby before 20 weeks) you don't enter it on family group records for genealogy, but if you lose the baby after 20 weeks (techinically a stillbirth), you can. There are different theories too. I finally felt at peace with the idea that I will have another chance at having that baby. This baby wasn't planned, and I had thought that God wouldn't give us a baby at this time in our lives, knowing that we just can't handle it really. And maybe that was the case here. It just wasn't meant to be... yet.

I've spoken to many of you currently reading this, and I would like to thank each of you for your kind thoughts and good wishes, and prayers. I've really felt the support of all of you. Thank you, again and again.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Elizabeth's Birthday

I forgot to post about Elizabeth's birthday! She is 5 now, and proud of it! 5 is a special age at our house. When you turn 5, you no longer get a snack at church. Also, you start getting an allowance, which also means you start paying tithing. Elizabeth has accepted these changes with grace. She paid her tithing for the first time today, in fact! She was pretty happy with herself. She boldly shows people she's a whole hand old! So cute.

We had her birthday party on the 6th of December, and we shared it with one of her best friends, another girl in the complex, named Aubrey, who turned 5 in November. It was a blast! We had the girls make their own crowns, played princess bingo, and princess cakewalk. And of course their were treats and snacks, and then the rest of the time the girls played dress up and pretend together. Here are some pictures from that special day. They are, in order: Elizabeth and Aubrey, all the girls at the party, and Elizabeth and Amelia, her favorite person from preschool.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Sadness Strikes the Baugh Home

The unlucky number 13 brought with him a saddening and terrible news today. We went to the baby doctor for the regular check up and to listen to the heartbeat. The first simple scanner didn't pick anything up, so we went for the ultrasound. I remember how it was with the other three, you look inside and find a cute baby body and right in the middle you see this tiny circle with a line that flickers back and forth. Just like always, there was the baby, cute little head, small hands and feet tucked closely to the body and a strong backbone. But this is where it differed from the last three. The flicker was gone. No circle. No line. No movement. It's hard for anyone to see such a small thing motionless, especially when it's the one thing that has caused nausea, pain, discomfort, but most of all a portion of your heart to open wide and love to fill it. Quite poetic to think that the sign of this baby not making its full term is the same thing that breaks for me. Your love and prayers are welcome at anytime. Thank you for your concern.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Family pics

We did our family pics a couple weeks ago. It was a lot of fun! We just set the self-timer for the group pics, and I took the individual pics, except the ones of me! Ha! I'm going to try something new and put them in a slide show in my sidebar. Enjoy!...

Okay, so that didn't exactly work... it's a new gadget. They must not have worked out all the kinks yet. I'll post my favorite pic here, and then you can visit the link by clicking the picture at the bottom to check out the rest, okay? Okay!

Family pics

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Drumroll please...

Matt and Arienne now present Baby #4 for our family! Here he/she is:


We hope it's a girl, but at this point, we can't change it, so we'll accept whatever we have. The family is due to expand July 22 or so, dates may vary. We're still deciding on names, so if you have any suggestions, feel free to offer them, though we reserve the right to say no to any and all suggestions. We won't find out the gender until February or March, so please note the poll on the side, where you can cast your vote as to which gender the baby will be.

We'll be keeping you updated here, so stay tuned!
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I did this with Picasa!

I found a great new program that makes it a lot easier to fix my photos, and it even has a direct link to my blog! Awesome! It's called Picasa, and it's available through Google. Check it out! More later!
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