Thursday, July 12, 2012

Goin' Courtin': Mormon Dating Game, or Kissing: What Does It Mean?

Apparently, we Mormons date differently than a lot of the rest of the world.

Specifically when it comes to kissing.

I was surprised to hear that this was a Mormon phenomenon.  Feel free to comment below and enlighten me if I get it wrong, or back me up if I'm right.

What does kissing mean to you?

When I was dating the first time around, kissing meant we were going to be exclusive if we weren't already.  It was almost an implied, "We're boyfriend/girlfriend now."

And this, I'm told, is how the rest of the world works.  We'll call it Way 1.

I haven't necessarily operated that way this time around.  (I sort of canvassed this already in general in my post, Relationship Girl Vs. Dating Girl.)  Working against my own background, I sometimes feel like a... woman of loose morals.

But let's face it.

Kissing is fun.

It's exhilarating.

It can also be dangerous.

This seems to be the norm, however.  I only date within my religion, so I can't vouch for how it is in any other scene.  However, it seems to be part of the determination process to try kissing out.  We'll call this Way 2.

Where's the line, then?  Is it a certain number of kisses? Length? Depth?  How many guys/girls are you allowed to be kissing?  I know some who give out kisses like candy at a parade.  I know some that don't kiss until they get married. And there is everything inbetween.

I don't really and truly have an answer to these questions, and it may just be that it's wholly individual.

What happens when someone who works Way 1 meets someone who works Way 2?  Which way wins?  Can a relationship work between them?

Again, I don't have the answers. I sure would like to know though!

Happy courtin'!

P.S.  So what do you think?  How do you work?  Have you tried both ways?  Share with us your wisdom and experiences.

1 comment:

Marc and Liz Anson said...

When my now husband and I were dating we immediately set rules about kissing that we kept. Once we did kiss we were exclusive. We don't think kissing is something you should just throw around. It is something special and almost sacred.

We never open mouthed kissed or had long make out sessions so we could be safe. Also we didn't kiss in the car it is just too dangerous.

When we started dating our thoughts on the subject were different. So we talked about it, how we both thought about etc. I respected him too much and so much that I was more than willing to change my point of view so we could both be safer. I think if you really are feeling strong feelings for someone you should both feel comfortable talking and adjusting standards if need be.